Comment deleted again!

Amazing!  Comments deleted from two sites the other week.  Looks like I'm on a roll!

I won't embarrass this second site as I still have some respect for the blogger, and the blog has a lot of good information.  Sigh, whatever, as if deleting it will change the data, the truth will always find a way out to the light (hint, hint, nudge, nudge), as the Emperor in that story about his lack of clothing found out.

For those who don't like when I write about personal stuff, you can stop reading now.

For those who want to continue, this is a story of a know-it-all Doctor and how he ultimately was proven to be wrong, very very wrong.

ogc thoughts

I learned at a relatively young age that even the smartest people don't know everything, so I try to remember that for myself.  Even Doctors, as just because you are smart enough to be a Doctor doesn't make you right all the time.  Not that I was ever Doctor smart - not even close, I admire their mental abilities - but I've tried to carry with me that humility of knowing I don't know everything (though I'm not perfect).

I doubt myself constantly, that helps me to not commit to any statement that I don't think that I can defend and demonstrate with data and information.  Also, I learned that ego and a God-like complex can lead to mistakes, wrong projections and prognosis (not that I don't have an ego sometimes, but again, I'm not perfect).

Not that I don't have the utmost respect for Doctors, to be clear.  I have a couple in the family, for one thing, and have many more as friends, and my daughter wants to be one.   And they saved my mom's life, as she battled and eventually lost to this virulent strain of breast cancer, that kept on coming back every five years, but the Doctors gave us 20 more years with her, so I'll always be grateful.  But I also know that they don't know everything either and so I don't take their word as gospel.

I'm sure the Doctor had what he thought was the facts when he laid out his prognosis:  he gave my sister no more than five years to live.  She was only 13 or so.  My mom, probably still reeling from losing her husband not that long ago at that point (and really, does anyone ever really truly recover?) and being the sensible, pragmatic, and practical person that she was, decided to give my sister the best quality life she could have, which I agreed with for the most extent.

It was all very confusing and emotionally fraught time and the Doctor made it even worse.  The Doctor first gave us the options of either surgery or radiation to remove the tumor.  Given that it was close to her optic nerve, we thought that the surgery offered the best chance of curing her and not destroying her sight, whereas the radiation, from what we understood, first would make her very sick, and second, there was no guarantee that would work, and third, could destroy her sight to boot.  Understandably, given the seriousness of the situation, my mother said that she would be asking for a second opinion.

Well, it wasn't understandable to the Doctor.  Apparently the Doctor was offended by the temerity of my mother to ask for another opinion, and the good Doctor swiftly took surgery off the table, it was radiation or nothing, and as a widow living off her husband's government pension, my mom had no alternatives.

On top of that, we did not like the radiation option, all the stories back then was that radiation gave the patient a horrible quality of life and - if it didn't work - meant that they would spend their last days in horrible agony for nothing.  That was a bad risk-reward ratio for us as the prognosis was that even if the radiation worked, she would have 10 years instead of 5.   So she chose to do nothing, which I supported.

Turns out that neither of the Doctor's choices were right, and we lucked into the right choice.  My sister is still alive and kicking today, the tumor that the Doctors said would claim her life within five years hasn't even claimed her vision (they have been regularly checking via MRI).  It has been 33 years since that original diagnosis and my brothers and I now figure that she'll probably outlive all of us.  Talk about being grossly wrong.  And I learned that even the smartest people don't always get it right, so how the heck can I expect myself to?

Nobody's Perfect

My point of all this is that nobody's perfect and the sooner one acknowledges and accepts that of oneself, the better.  We are all human, and while I understand the Doctor can't know everything, he didn't have to react so badly when all we wanted was another opinion.  Hopefully his mistake with us helped him and his department not to do the same later for another patient.  That's how we as humans advanced more than other animals, we remembered our mistakes and learned from them.

It took me a long while to accept that nobody's perfect and I still struggle sometimes with it.  I think most obsessive compulsives are perfectionists at heart, and trying to attain such an impossible goal will drive some crazy.  I've been fortunate to have my mom and teachers (thanks Miss Cooper, Mr. Wicks, and Mrs. Holland, among many others) who understood that I walk to the "beat of a different drummer" and accepted me, and more importantly, gave me guidance on how to "be a real boy", to be human, to be able to "shoot the bull" as Mr. Wicks told me to do.  I've very grateful to them.

So deleting my comment is really just sticking your head in the ground and going "La la la la la la la la la" ad infinitem, as if that would make the facts go away.  I find that in life, karma does come back to bite you in the rear, and that truths will generally get out.  I've been kicked many a time when I either didn't care or didn't pay attention.  My mistakes have laid a path, which I have chosen to take, more or less.  And, again, making mistakes is a part of life, there is no way to escape them as easily as deleting a comment.

Resistance is Useless!  Everyone Makes Mistakes!

So you can count on me making mistakes, and please be sure to point them out for me, that is part of the reason I blog, to see if I'm smoking crack or if I'm actually on to something.  And I won't delete it, though I might argue back.

Plus know that I tend to reflect that which is thrown at me.  We can have a nice respectful discussion or you can attack and I will attack back at your logic.  As the Hulk used to say on TV, you won't like me when I'm angry.

And I know that a lot of time, it is just conjecture on my part.  That's why I never got into angry exchanges with others regarding my positiveness about the Giants starting in 2007, it's my thoughts vs. others, but I just wanted to put it out there for those who maybe saw the same thing or were on the fence.  That's why I put in my positive comments about Sabean and not return to challenge others comments, to let others who are on the fence to know that there are those of us who were positive.  I leave my comments and try to let it stand, but if other points are brought up, I try to answer those as well.

But again, I'm not perfect, I'm human, I will obsess over things at times, particularly ones that I think are right.  I will lash out at times when I think I'm being wronged or disrespected.  Please forgive me when I've lost my way, but know that generally, I'm a pretty good guy because that's what I try to be, each and every day.

As an obsessive, I'm aware of all the options available to people.  My general inclination is to be nice, but I make a conscious effort to be nice most of the time, though I'm human.  More importantly, please correct me when I am wrong, but hopefully in a nice way, and not an explosive way.

Each Giants Season is Like My Child:  Some Only a Parent Can Love

And I have no problem being wrong sometimes.  I view all this Giants information as a portfolio of facts that I study to understand where my team looks to be, good or bad, for the season.  The 70's and 80's, to survive that as a fan, I understand that the team can't be good every year, so I try my best to understand whether the team is competitive that year or not, and if not, try to find the positives for the future.  I am not a homer who needs to view my team as the best ever, every season.

I only want to understand my team's capabilities and love each season individually, as if each season is a different child.  Some are great and others only a parent can love, but I strive to understand each and every one, to know the potential of each and enjoy the journey towards that final reality at the end of the season, what the final win/loss is, whether I can expect good or mediocre or bad, and whether that particular team reaches their potential, as near as I can tell pre-season, whether it be World Champions (I think that's possible this season) or closer to .500 than 100 losses (as I argued with some others regarding one of Bonds' last seasons, I think 2008).  Sometimes you get disappointments like 2013, but I got some nice surprises like 1978 or 1982, and the great surprise of "You Gotta Like These Kids" of 1986.

Go Giants!